“My Friends Don’t Support Me”

Musings, Series, , , , , , , , , , 112 Comments

Happy New Year!

I can’t believe I’ve been blogging for 7 months already, the time seems to be flying. I have a lot of big plans for this space this year and I’m grateful for every one of you that continues to share and support what I do here. Even for those of you that don’t! It’s amazing because some of the most supportive people of this blog are people that I haven’t met. On that note, I want to candidly talk today about that concept – support. More specifically, support from the people closest to you, those that you consider your “friends”.

It’s not a new thing to hear people complaining that their friends don’t support them. I’m blessed to have very supportive friends, but I can still relate to some extent. Whilst many of my friends are my biggest “fans” lol, I know loads of my friends don’t read my blog posts, probably haven’t even read/shared a single one and don’t ever plan to. Yes, it’s disheartening when you’re so passionate about something and the people you respect most just don’t seem to get it. Or even if they do, they only want to be present once you’ve amounted to success, they don’t want to be part of your initial struggle/hustle. They don’t share your stuff; they don’t buy your product; they don’t attend your event. You might start to question your entire friendship, like, is that person even really my friend?? 


Thankfully, I have reached a place where I no longer have this self-entitled expectation of my friends (and family) to share my content or outwardly support what I’m doing. And since I have made that shift in my mentality, I have been pursuing my passions more fearlessly. Don’t get me wrong, support would be nice, but I no longer expect it and neither should you. Such an expectation can really damage the most important relationships in your life – you have to ask yourself, is their support really worth it? Will you still succeed without it or is their approval your green light?

Newsflash: You can do great things without the approval of your friends. Do not limit yourself. 

Besides, is it really fair to place such a burden on people? Their relationship to you should not oblige them to share your content. I repeat, their relationship to you should not oblige them to share your content! “But they’re my friend – it’s their job” is a very simplistic and one-dimensional view to hold. Personally, I would much rather you support me out of the goodness of your heart or because you really believe in my vision, not by force.

And the reality is, friendships are beautifully complex bonds. I have friends that I am so different to and if you think about it, I’m sure you do too. I often wonder how two of my closest friends study Medicine and Dentistry, whilst I studied Law (I’m terrible at Science and have zero interest in it). Just because I love them does not mean that I suddenly love Science and everything it entails too. Would it be fair for me to demand that they share and support my passions as fervently as I do? No. Their support is a wonderful blessing, but I cannot be justified to just naturally expect it.

A doctor, a dentist and a lawyer

I want to leave you with some points to remember/consider if you are battling with this my friends don’t support me thing…

  • Be your own cheerleader: You are perfectly capable of spurring yourself on and cheering yourself all the way to the finish line, whatever it may be. Self motivation is a powerful tool and when activated, you really can do anything you set your mind to. Don’t wait for your friend to pat you on the back before you start running. This race is your own to conquer!
  • Seek God, not man: God is really the only one who always has our best interests in mind. Therefore, relying on our friends to support our passions before we pursue them wholeheartedly can be a massive hindrance and ultimately slow us down. You have the weapon of prayer at your disposal – use it. Ask God if you’re on the right path; ask God to help you; ask God for motivation to keep going and He will answer. The Bible is especially loud and clear on this point of placing your hope/trust in the wrong things over God. See below (I usually don’t insert long bible excerpts but I want you to really catch this):

“Don’t put your confidence in powerful people; there is no help for you there. When they breathe their last, they return to the earth, and all their plans die with them. But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper, whose hope is in the LORD their God.”‭‭ – Psalms‬ ‭146:3-5‬ ‭

“It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in people.” – ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭118:8‬

“Don’t put your trust in mere humans. They are as frail as breath. What good are they?” – Isaiah‬ ‭2:22‬

“The best-equipped army cannot save a king, nor is great strength enough to save a warrior. Don’t count on your warhorse to give you victory— for all its strength, it cannot save you. But the LORD watches over those who fear him, those who rely on his unfailing love. He rescues them from death and keeps them alive in times of famine.” – Psalms‬ ‭33:16-19‬

“This is what the LORD says: “Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans, who rely on human strength and turn their hearts away from the LORD. They are like stunted shrubs in the desert, with no hope for the future. They will live in the barren wilderness, in an uninhabited salty land. “But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.” – Jeremiah‬ ‭17:5-8‬

  • Do not despise small beginnings: So you’ve started this new venture and your only support system is maybe you and your dog. It’s lonely, but that’s okay. Don’t despise your small beginnings because one day, if it’s God’s will, you could build an empire!

“Then another message came to me from the LORD: “Zerubbabel is the one who laid the foundation of this Temple, and he will complete it. Then you will know that the LORD of Heaven’s Armies has sent me. Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand.” – ‭‭Zechariah‬ ‭4:8-10‬

  • Maybe you need to find your audience, not new friends: I know you want to get angry at your friends, but have you considered that maybe you’re looking for support in the wrong place? Whatever you’re passionate about, there is a niche community out there somewhere with people just like you. Find those people, network and give your friends a break! Great platforms/ways to find your niche include YouTube,  Facebook groups, forums and Instagram hashtags to name a few.

I hope this post has helped anyone battling with this issue. At the end of the day, your friends are your friends, but the world does not owe you a thing. The sooner we all stop waiting for approval and seeking gratification in the wrong places, the better.

Be sure to share this post with anyone that you think needs to see it.

God bless you!

Wunms. 

Advertisements

112 thoughts on ““My Friends Don’t Support Me””

  1. Pingback: Your Comfort Zone Is Killing Your Growth – WUNMS

  2. This is just one of the things that “it is what it is”. Support from friends should be a natural thing and out of the goodness of their heart. But these situations are really eye openers though because “friends support friends”. Keep on doing your thing great blog post 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. Omg you are so pretty!! Love this post and the way you wrote it. I can’t believe you’ve resisted for 7 months, as I feel like quitting almost daily because I get soo few number of views and, like you, my friends don’t support me. They wouldn’t even drop by to check my posts (as if it would cost them something) and they spread more hate than love. But this post was really encouraging and maybe, if you want you could check my blog a bit, I would like to know opinions from bigger bloggers. Thank u and keep on posting these type of articles! God bless you!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Try to focus on your passion or whatever motivates you to write/blog rather than the numbers. The numbers come eventually but doing what you love will fuel you if you keep that your main focus!
      My close friends do support me lol, I mention that in the post but I’m just speaking more generally about the topic of support because I know a lot of people struggle with not receiving support from people they expect it from most! It’s sad but always be encouraged that your platform is impacting someone out there. So glad you enjoyed the post though, God bless you too. Will check out your blog xx

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  4. You made some great points with this post. I have not been one to expect support from my friends on this journey because a lot of them don’t understand the blogging world, but I know in the end of I really need them they will be there for me and that’s the important thing about friendships.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  6. Love this! I think this is definitely something everyone can relate to, not just bloggers! It can definitely be discouraging at the start, I wrote about this topic too a few months ago, but it definitely helps to boost your self confidence because you’re forced to be your own biggest fan! Thank you so much for sharing, sometimes it’s nice to know that you aren’t alone lol 💙

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  7. I truly understand where you’re coming from. I’m going thru the same. A lot of my friends doesn’t support me blogging. But they will be the first to knock on my door, when I start making a living out of it. But nevermind, Don’t lose your focus!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. It’s a shame many of your friends don’t support your blogging but be encouraged that you have an audience that actually does! That certainly motivates me (although as I said, my actual friends are generally very supportive lol). Thanks for reading x

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  9. Pingback: Friends | The End – By The Silence

      1. When it comes to people close to me I have a lot to prove so I want my blog to be at a point where they see it and think wow look at how many people want to hear what you have to say! I want to show them something I’m 100% happy with I guess.

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

        1. Hmm I definitely understand what you mean but I personally don’t feel the same. Anyways, I really enjoy your blog so keep going 🙂 I hope you feel happy enough with it to share it with them someday! X

          Like

          Reply

  16. I have a friend that I really supported when you was doing her own thing and it wasnt because I was looking for praises or something, I just wanted her to know that what she was doing was special and that she had help if she ever needed it…but when I started mine she didnt even pay much attention to my blog or even encourage me, she hardly likes my post or shares them. It hurt for a while but you are right, she isnt the one that I would like to reach out to, if my message touches her great and if it doesnt there is someone out there that it would reach and thats whats important. Thanks for this post

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Interesting perspective! I agree that often jealousy/envy causes people not to support others. And being “different” also doesn’t help. You’re right, being yourself regardless is important!

      Thanks for reading Ben 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  18. Pingback: Jasmine Crockett
  22. Pingback: “Everyone Has A Podcast Now” – WUNMS

  24. Love this post because it rings so true! Haha! I didn’t realise how much difference each ‘share’ and ‘like’ mattered until I started That Wednesday Word (TWW) so I was probably that friend who had every intention of sharing etc and would completely forget! How things change though… Like you said, it’s so important to rely on God (not people) and trust that He will touch the hearts of the people who need it with what we write!

    Your site is great by the way – I’ve had a look around and love the diversity of your posts! Keep doing what you’re doing!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you Tomi! I agree – that’s often what happens. Most people don’t actually realise how important something as basic as a like or share etc. is to a blogger. It isn’t until you have your own project/hustle/something you’re working on that requires promotion that you realise how much you’ve probably been missing out on helping others!

      God will certainly do that – Amen! And thanks so much for having a look around, I really appreciate that 🙂

      Like

      Reply

    1. Aww thanks girl, really appreciate that. Although, I’ve actually already done a Liebster Award blog post last year back in October, but I’ll be sure to read your post and answer your questions, perhaps in a comment under your post.

      Thank you again Adebola! x

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  27. The title alone made me so sad! But to be honest, this happens. We all have some friends who just don’t support our dream unless it benefits them directly. That sucks but you’re right you’ll have some who do and some who don’t. Finding the one’s who do support is key and once you have them all the others don’t matter. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Aww. Thank you for reading! Really appreciate it 🙂

      But I’d have to disagree slightly on your last statement. The point I was trying to get across is the genuine friends that seem like they don’t outwardly support you (e.g. If they never read or share your blog) aren’t necessarily bad friends that you should disregard. And they do still matter, they’re just not your audience in my opinion. But as time progresses it becomes clearer who is actually your friend and who is actually just a hater in disguise xxx

      Like

      Reply

  28. I loved this post Wunmi! It took me a while to understand that some friends don’t read blogs and they won’t read yours just because it’s you. Being your own cheerleader is so important. If you can see the greatness in your work, there will be others who can see it too. Again, great post! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  30. This is in many parts very true. My friends are actually really supportive – but they also don’t repost or comment or anything. But I think that they just don’t unterstand that those are the most important parts of helping a blogging friend 😉 But its ok! I think they might get it eventually and I know that they all try to support me in their very own way.

    xxx, Rina // https://darlingrina.wordpress.com/2017/01/01/jeans-tuell-and-rock-n-roll/

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  32. So wonderfully true! I have a few friends who are big fans of what I do, and some who couldn’t care less. That’s ok. We don’t have to support everything our friends do in order to be friends! Love this!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks Jesse. I agree – it is sad… which is why I personally always try to support my friends’ positive ventures even if I don’t have to.

      It’s weird though how some people find it easier to support random people (e.g. a celebrity) than their own friends.

      Thanks for reading! 🙂

      Like

      Reply

  38. I really love this post!

    I’ve been blogging for about 8 years now and I still have both friends and family that don’t understand it and I’m pretty sure a handful of them don’t read my stuff. Whether or not that is my fault because I’m not sharing the posts on my personal accounts is different. I know where you’re coming from, I’ve had moments where even my mind was spinning because I was having a hard time trying to explain how I’d rather blog than go back to college. I had to fight that argument for a while!

    You are still learning and growing as a blogger for only being at this seven months. Kudos to you! You have a gorgeous blog (and thank you for having it on WordPress cuz I can comment!) and maybe one day those friends will learn to love your blog and might even ask for advice from you one day! Who knows!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you! ❤️

      Congratulations – 8 years of blogging is so amazing, I’m looking forward to hitting those kind of milestones in the future.

      I share my blog posts on my personal accounts like Facebook so my friends and family are sure to see it lol. I don’t mind if they click or not, but I just sort of leave the option there for them if that makes sense 🙂 because you never know how far a post can go/touch someone/make their day, so I give it a try.

      & Thank you so much! I love WordPress blogs, I really don’t see myself using another platform anytime soon/(ever!). It’s so easy to use and I love that we can follow each other and comment easier lol.

      Thanks for reading Meghan xx

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    1. You’re right, of course it could be disheartening but I find that lowering my expectation of friends actually guards my heart from that very disappointment! Thanks for reading 🙂

      Like

      Reply

  40. Good evening Wunmi, another interesting blog to read on my journey home. A very balanced article. I agree that you should never assume validation and support from friends and family just because they are close to you. Each one of your close friends had a different quality which you identified with and enabled your friendship to flourish. I would probably never have read your blog if I hadn’t worked with Tomiwa and that is the beauty of life, you never know who you will meet and people appear in your life at certain points and you may become lifelong friends or they may help you in your quest. Sometimes friends and family are not the right people to support you as they feel unable to but some will always be there to pick you up and encourage you. I think it is important to always support those close to you, though you have to accept it may be years before they need your help. I support you because I enjoy reading your articles and find the scripture excerpts a good way to reflect at the end of the day or boost your confidence in the morning. You show great support for others when reviewing their events. There is such a variety of articles, there is something for everyone. I suppose blogging is a bit like radio “Is there anyone listening?” Of course there is 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Glad you agree. Thanks for your openness Gavin – it’s always interesting to hear how and why people are drawn to my blog. That’s lovely! I’m so glad that I can add something positive to your day through my writing.

      And yes I’m a big believer in supporting people that are doing great/inspirational things e.g. Events, more of that will feature on my blog in the future I’m sure.

      Thanks for reading! 🙂

      Like

      Reply

    1. I’m happy this helped you!

      You’re right, looking to friends and family for support initially just seems like the natural thing to do (although sometimes it makes no sense because of course friends and family don’t always share our interests/can’t relate to what we’re doing).

      Thanks for reading Lali! 🙂

      Like

      Reply

    1. Thanks Paul – I’ll definitely check it out 🙂

      I’m also really happy that your attitude has since changed. Growth is good 👍🏾 And an updated post would be great to read – be sure to send me another link if you decide to write it.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  45. I felt compelled to read this post because it reminded me of something I posted a couple of months ago calling out friends who blatantly don’t support me or others.

    Coincidentally, my mind-set has become similar to yours since in that it really doesn’t matter anymore. While it’d be nice for them to decide they want to read my posts, I certainly won’t piss and moan about it anymore. It’s just not that important in the grand scheme of things.

    I’ll try and dig out the link if you fancy a read. If not, no mither of course 🙂

    Great post. Glad I stumbled across it.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Glad you’re not going to complain about it anymore – it just isn’t worth the complaint! Much better to just get on with your passion and “find your audience” as I say in my post.

      Thanks for reading – happy you found me and enjoyed the post.

      Looking forward to reading a different perspective in yours 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. I just remembered exactly why I’m blogging and stopped worrying about superficial stuff. I won’t say I’m suddenly immune to moments of frustration regarding how poorly some posts perform, but it’s only ever fleetingly so. I’m very grateful for my regular readers. I’m even working on a kind of joint venture with one which is loads of fun 🙂
        I’m following your blog now so I’ll keep up with your musings from henceforth and try to catch up with your older posts when I can. Thank you for responding and for such a thought provoking post 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

  46. Brilliant post Wunmi. This wikl definitely encourage all who have been wondering why their friends don’t support and what they should do about it. In addition to what you’ve said, I personally find it hard to to not post my friends work which is genuinely quality. Sometimes you want to support your friends but their work isn’t quality and in those instances I think it’s best to just provide constructive feedback etc. If it’s genuinely quality though, sometimes it leaves you with no choice but to support!
    Also! Some people won’t support due to jealousy! Nothing you can do about that though. Gotta just keep pressing Lool

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    2. Thanks so much Jason! I agree with you – when the content is quality, naturally I’m even more excited to shout about it lol.

      And looool – your point on haters. I didn’t even remember them, haters are just confused fans in disguise. Leave them 😉

      Like

      Reply

  47. Once you’ve got your own venture, you realise all the times that your friends don’t support you but you should also realise all the times that you didn’t support your friends! For me, I now try to support my friends/family a lot more…even if it’s only a little support, it’s something. Ultimately you’ve gotta show love to your peeps. Whether they support you back or not doesn’t matter, as Christian we try to love like Christ.

    If you get discouraged that your friends don’t support you, you need to realise that for highly successful people, the vast majority of their supporters won’t be their friends by definition. If you really want people around you to take you more seriously, you should simply up your game, increase your influence and *earn* their interest. This is much better than forced support. We’ve just gotta be extra grateful for when your friends support you of their own accord tbh.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    2. Yup definitely agree with you. As much as I try to support my friends (even more so nowadays), I don’t expect the same treatment back automatically. You’re right, we do just have to be so grateful if a friend decides to support of their own accord, because there is no obligation.

      As Christians we should be happy to give without necessarily receiving back 🙂

      Thanks for reading! ❤️❤️

      Like

      Reply

  48. I totally agree with you. When I started blogging my parents and friend really did not support me. I took most of my pictures myself, supported myself and bought most of my things myself. Gradually when my blog started growing is when I finally got support from family and friends…and even strangers.

    I believe if you put your trust in God and allow him be your backbone all things will work together wonderfully well….even better than when man supports you.

    Tifeadunade.WordPress.com

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Couldn’t have put it better myself! You’re sooo right -> “if you put your trust in God and allow him be your backbone all things will work together wonderfully well….even better than when man supports you.” He is the greatest, truly.

      I’m so glad your blog is growing, I really like it. Keep striving with it & thanks for reading Tife 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  50. Absolutely loved this post! I’m guilty of first trying to share my content among friends and family but it didn’t take long for me to realise that not only am I forcing it on them, but I am also not going to learn and grow naturally because there isn’t much interaction or response. I love how you have so many passages from the Bible as well I literally felt more uplifted as I read further through the post. I’ve definitely entered the new year with a new mindset about how I approach blogging that you’ve just helped to cement.

    Juanita x http://www.juanitashikira.com

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Don’t get me wrong I still actively share my posts among my friends and family (because I post on my personal Facebook account all the time), but the difference is, I don’t automatically expect them to engage and share and like etc etc. I’m just putting it into the atmosphere because you never know what could happen or where it could end up :). I wouldn’t want to force anything on them, it’s their choice to click or not.

      And aww I’m glad you liked it. Had to refer to the Bible because it has so many gems of wisdom and is ultimately the basis of my thinking – it inspired this whole post tbh.

      I’m reeeally happy to hear how you’re entering the new year girl!! Happy New Year to you Juanita and thanks again for reading xx

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Gravatar
WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Cancel

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.