It is well documented that when one is preparing to get married, the number one cause of stress and tension is money. So it’s no surprise then that next to adultery, one of the main reasons cited for divorce nowadays is also money issues. Despite money being quite a taboo subject that we don’t always like to discuss, it’s evidently a really crucial factor which mustn’t be brushed over. In today’s post we’ll be discussing saving vs splurging in relation to weddings…
No Shame In Saving
One major psychological hurdle that we need to get past is the idea that there is somehow something embarrassing about trying to save as much money as possible on a wedding day. It doesn’t make you cheap – it’s smart and often very sensible. We need to prioritise living within our means rather than letting the pressure of keeping up appearances force us into a financial predicament that wasn’t budgeted for.
Moreover, some of us have been conditioned to feel that if we are not spending lots of money on a product or service, then it isn’t worth it – but that is far from the truth! In actuality, it is very possible to do your best to save a lot of money where you can afford to cut costs, still have a wonderful wedding day, and find that you are better off for it. Even more so, there is no shame in planning a wedding using discount codes online, or cutting out coupons from a magazine, downsizing or outsourcing – whatever means you personally have to take to save your coins, do what is best for your future marriage.
Focus On What You Want
When you are too caught up with saving money, however, it can be easy to forget or overlook what it is that you really want.
I’ll give you an example… I budgeted a certain amount for my wedding dress. Honestly, I pulled the number out of my head based on what seemed reasonable to me at the time. I don’t like spending a lot on clothes in general, so the idea of spending thousands of pounds on a dress that I’m probably only going to wear on one day for around 10 hours, made me internally scream. However, once I physically went out to do wedding dress shopping, my perspective surprisingly changed as I started to realise just how important the dress I get married in is to me personally. I had the image of my perfect dress cemented in my mind (and several screenshots on my phone!), but nonetheless I was encouraged to try on a bunch of different dresses in stores. I eventually narrowed my choices down to two dresses. Dress 1 was beautiful, pretty close to my perfect dress and it was way less than my budget, but I didn’t feel totally convinced when I wore it. It lacked that WOW-factor. Dress 2 on the other hand was the exact dress that I had a screenshot of on my phone, so by default it was entirely perfect… but… it was over my budget.
I had to make a tough decision. Do I choose Dress 1 and save a lot of money, or do I choose what I really want and go for Dress 2?
To cut a short story short lol, I went for Dress 2. I realised that whilst it is good to actively try to save money, this shouldn’t come at the cost of compromising my overall happiness and more importantly, my vision for the wedding. I also had confirmation from multiple people that I trust and felt an inward peace about my decision. I would hate to look back and regret not choosing the dress I really wanted.
Having said that, my decision to go for Dress 2 has made me shift my priorities around. Since the dress is really important to me, I’ve had to ask myself what can I afford to make alterations to? E.g. Do I really need that many centrepieces? Do I really need a smoke machine? Do I really need a photobooth for my guests? etc. It’s all a balancing act and requires you to think deeply about which factors will truly make a material difference to your experience and enjoyment of the wedding day.
Don’t Overlook Genuine Help
Last but certainly not least, if someone genuine* is offering you help, then remember that there is absolutely nothing wrong with accepting it. It doesn’t make you useless or lazy or hopeless, it just means that you’ve put your pride aside for the success of your wedding and marriage thereafter, which is a good thing! Good quality help is such a blessing and I am so grateful for it.
*The key point here is to ensure that the help is genuine. Unfortunately, some people want to help you to keep your wedding expenses down or lighten your load, whilst others just want to intrude on this major moment in your life for disingenuous reasons. It’s important to be able to discern the difference and this is where being prayerful and constantly seeking God’s will is essential. But assuming you are offered genuine help, don’t overlook it. The beauty about people is that we all have different strengths and weaknesses, so now is the time to enlist people in all the areas that you have highlighted as weaknesses for you specifically. Maybe you’re not very good at remembering things so you have someone remind you of key details, or maybe you’re not very creative so you have someone help you choose decor and so on.
No-one should feel like they are above receiving help. Helping hands are a wonderful sign of community and this is exactly the kind of support you need in the build up to married life and even beyond the wedding day.
Thanks so much for reading and let’s continue the conversation in the comment section down below. What are your views on saving vs splurging? Are you strict when budgeting or do you prioritise and remain flexible?
*This post was written in partnership with a Contributing Author*
God bless you!
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. – Matthew 6:34